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True: Hospice is a fully covered Medicare benefit for all eligible patients, with no out-of-pocket expense.
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We are owned and operated by a group of clinically based professionals with extensive hospice experience.
Coping?
Caring for a loved one can be very draining. Many family members struggle with coping with the added stress and grief associated with caring for a loved one. Click on one of the resources or suggestions to learn more about how to cope:
- Grief - Understanding grief is an important process. Click here to learn more.
- Stress - While the causes and coping skills are very similar to those of grief, stress can directly affect your physical and psychological health. Click here to to take a stress test and learn more about your level of stress.
Grief only becomes a tolerable and creative experience when love enables it to be shared with someone who really understands."Simon Stephens
Grief
Understanding grief and the process of going through it is important. Remember, grief is not just associated with death. Grief is a loss. People caring for a loved one, suffer losses on a regular basis, including but not limited to:
- Loss of personal time
- Loss of sleep
- Loss of freedom
- Loss of life pursuits
- and much more
This is complicated by the losses that your loved one is experiencing, such as loss of independance, loss of memory, loss of normal ability, loss of the golden years, etc.
What is Grief?
- Grief is a normal and natural reaction to the death of a loved one.
- Anticipatory grief takes place when family members or significant others are grieving due to impending death of relative or person close to them.
- Bereavement is the objective situation of being deprived by death of someone significant.
- Mourning reflects the grieving practices of one's culture and the specific actions and manners of expressing grief.
- Common emotions or stages of grief.
- Shock
Denial- Confusion
- Bargaining
- Blaming
- Sadness
- Anger
- Fear
- Depression
- Relief
- Acceptance
- Hope
Normal Grief
People who suffer a loss experience one or more of the following symptoms of grief. They can occur one at a time, in combinations and in clusters, and over a period of time. Although they will not continue indefinitely, some reactions may last longer than others. Expect and be mindful of responses similar to those listed below:
Physical Responses to Grief
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Emotional Responses to Grief
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Mental Cognitive Reactions/Symptoms
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Behavioral Problems
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Spiritual Reactions/Symptoms
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Pathological Grief
Sometimes family members or significant other exhibits more extensive debilitating grief reactions, often with full depressive syndrome. When these things occur pathological grief occurs:
- Absent, intense or chronic grief.
- Over-activity without a sense of loss.
- Hostility, especially towards a specific object or person.
- Extreme guilt.
- Wooden, formal behavior.
- Overwhelming inertia.
- Behavior detrimental to self such as reckless spending, drinking or driving.
- Severe disturbance in social network.
- Severe depression and severe suffering, sadness, poor appetite.
- Agitated depression, with self-accusations, insomnia and an increased sense of worthlessness.
- Suicidal intentions, expressed directly or indirectly.
Other Considerations
- Most likely predictors for bereavement are:
- Intensity of the interaction with the deceased before the death
- Significance of the deceased's role within the family
- Anniversary Reactions
- Broken Heart Theory
- Socio Economic Changes
If you notice these response or symptoms in yourself or others, it is advisable to seek professional help, or the assistance of the hospice social worker
Remember Hospice Offers
- Counseling services before the death of patient, and bereavement services provided for 13 months
- Grief Support Groups offered to all bereaved family members
Coping With Grief
Allowing Space for Grief
In a normal grief process every individual jumps around from one stage to another. Consequently, it is not reasonable to expect that everyone in a family will experience the same emotion at the same time. In fact, it is seldom that everyone is on the same page when grieving the loss of a loved one. At any given moment one family member might be angry, another in bargaining, another in shock and still another in acceptance. Then, an hour later, they might all switch emotional places. It is good to recognize this and allow each other room for individual expression of grief.
Children and Grief
Children should also be included and encouraged to participate in expressions of grief and loss. They should not be forced to participate, but they should be allowed to participate if they so desire. Grieving is a part of everyday life and therefore, good grieving skills should be taught to children by the adults in their lives. For children to learn good grieving skills they must be able to see good grieving skills being practiced around them. Shielding children from loss and learning how to cope with it deprives them of the opportunity to learn how to deal with life.
Children should not be banished from seeing death or dying people. Their imaginations can and will create far worse images than reality could ever produce. Reality may be tough to deal with at times, but the imagination can be a lot worse.
How Long Does Grief Take?
There is no time limit on grief. How long it takes to grieve a loss can vary greatly and depends on a wide variety of factors, not the least of which are: the severity of the loss, the support available to the individual experiencing the loss, and his/her skill at working through grief process. Strictly speaking, one never "gets over" a serious loss. One learns to cope, one learns to integrate that loss into a larger meaning, but one does not forget.
Sharing Loss
Human beings are innately social and need to share at least some of their feelings in order to process them effectively. Spending time alone is important after experiencing a loss, but it may be just as important to grieve with someone as well. The need to recall the stories of our losses is important. It is a normal and effective way of processing grief.
Some people may find grief support groups to be helpful in accomplishing this task. Others may pick out a close friend with whom to share his/her feelings. Still others might utilize a professional counselor as a sounding board for ventilating their feelings. Clergy can be very useful for this purpose, as can prayer and meditation. Hospices provide grief counselors.
Learning to Grieve
It is important to remember that grieving is something we all do from time to time. Learning to grieve effectively is an important life-skill which we need to learn and pass on to our children. It enables both them and us to cope more effectively and to comprehend the meaning of our world more clearly. When grief is intense, we can quickly become overwhelmed by the magnitude of our emotions and begin to think that there is something wrong with us; that we are the first and only one to ever feel this way. We may lose sight of our profound connectedness to the human race and our commonality of emotion. As we move through feelings of isolation, we can expect to feel a need to reconnect with other humans. A time-honored way of accomplishing this is to share our story.
There is a time to be alone and a time to reconnect, a time to experience solitude and a time to be nurtured.
Stress
Stress is related to grief in several ways.
- Stress and grief have some similar causes. Most stress is felt because we feel a loss or lacking. A loss of time to get everything done, loss of an anticipated event/situation, loss or lack of money, lack of knowledge, etc.
- Many of the coping skills for Stress are similar to those of Grief.
The information below can help you determine what type of stress you have and how to deal with it appropriately.
Stress Test
First it is good to understand the facts effecting your stress and to what relative level your stress is at.
Here is a common Stress Test referred to as the HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST.
To take the test:
1) Put a check on each line related to events which have occurred in your life in the past 12 months.
As a result of the events you have experienced based on your selections above, the following percentages reflects your chances of getting sick in the near future:
If your score is 300 or more, about 80 percent
If your score is 150 to 299, about 50 percent
Less than 150, about 30 percent
This scale suggests that change in one's life requires an effort to adapt and then to regain stability. This process probably saps energy the body would ordinarily use to maintain itself, so susceptibility to illness increases. Reprinted with permission from the Journal of Psychosomatic Research (vol. II) by Thomas H. Holmes and Richard R. Rahe (Pergamon Press, 1967).
Back to TopBurnout
Excessive or prolonged stress leads to Burnout!
Signs and Symptoms of Burnout
Physical Dimension
- Fatigue
- Low energy
- Appetite changes
- Sleep disturbances
Emotional Dimension
- Depression
- Sense of hopelessness
- Helpless
- Emotional depletion
- Discouraged
- Disenchanted
- Angry outbursts
- Suspicious
- Argumentative
Mental Dimension
- Lack of concentration
- Forgetfulness
- Impaired judgment
- Lack of motivation
Attitudes & Behaviors
- Negative
- Dissatisfied
- Cynical
- Bored
- Inflexible
- Anger towards self & others
- Decrease in risk-taking
Spiritual Dimension
- Inability to pray
- Sense of meaninglessness
- Loss of sense of self
- Loss of inner harmony
- Despair
- Lack of intimacy
Common Outcomes
- Increased susceptibility to illness
- Accident prone
- Headaches/nausea
- Muscle tension
How to Cope With Stress
If possible work to avoid stress, but if you are reading this it is probably because you are already overly stressed. Here is just some a of repertoire of stress-reducing techniques:
- Set priorities.
Divide tasks into three categories-essential, important and trivial and forget about the trivial. Hire others, including your own children to do the tasks that can be assigned out. Learn to say no when you're asked to do something that overloads your time or diverts you from what you really consider most important. Be satisfied with a less-than-perfect job if the alternative is not getting a job done at all. Identify the activities you find satisfying and focus on enjoying them, rather than on your performance or what reward the activities might bring. Learn to say "NO" without guilt feelings Set realistic goals - Organize time.
Figure out when in the day you are most productive and do your high priority tasks then. Pace yourself, allowing time for unexpected emergencies. If at all possible, leave your work at the office to reduce conflicts with needs at home and give yourself time to recharge your batteries. Plan recreational times to provide a release from stress and tension Don't waste your energies on frustrating attempts to conquer what you can't control - Budget stress.
Take a periodic glance at your schedule for the next three months to see what events may be coming up that may cause you to overdraw your stress account. Try to avoid clusters of stressful events by spreading them out. Recognize that some stress is unavoidable - it's part of life. Divide your list into things can't avoid/control and things you can hope to influence - Try "Clean Living".
Be more consistent in your living habits by trying to eat, sleep and exercise at about the same time every day. Don't overindulge in alcohol or rely on pills to induce sleep (they are counter-productive). Be sure to get enough sleep and rest because fatigue can reduce your ability to cope with stress. Eat regular, well-balanced meals with enough variety to assure good nutrition and enough complex carbohydrates (starchy foods) to guarantee energy reserve. - Listen to the body.
It will let you know when you are pushing too hard. When your back or head aches or your stomach sours, slow down, have some fun, take time to enjoy the world around you. Set aside some time each day for self-indulgence. Focus on life's little pleasures. Maintain and use a sense of humor Allow yourself time out to enjoy personal interests or just to smell the roses - Choose fight or flight.
Don't be afraid to express anger (hiding it is even more stressful than letting it out), but choose your fights carefully, and don't stress over every little thing. When fighting is inappropriate, try fleeing-learn to fantasize or take a short break (do a puzzle, take a walk, go to a concert or get away for the weekend) to re-energize yourself. You can also give in once in a while, instead of always insisting you are right and others are wrong. Work within the place of employment to improve working conditions Reward in public; reprimand in private - Learn mediation techniques.
These include deep breathing exercises, the relaxation response (a demystified form of mediation), religious practices, yoga, imagery, biofeedback and behavior modification. The last three may require professional help. Take a minute or two between appointments or activities for a relaxation break-stretching, breathing, or walking around. (Many of these resources can be found on the internet) Practice stress management techniques - Revitalize through exercise.
A body lacking in physical stamina is in no shape to handle stress. An exercise tune-up can increase your emotional as well as your physical strength. Exercise enhances, rather than saps, your energy; it also has a distinct relaxing effect. - Do a good turn.
Stress causes people to focus on their own problems. Try doing something for someone else. Take the time to say "Thank You," and "Your Welcome" - Talk it out.
Problems often seem much worse when you carry their burden alone. Talking to a trusted friend or relative to a professional counselor can help you sort things out and unload some of the burden. If things are really bad, don't hesitate to seek professional counseling or psychotherapy. If necessary to preserve life and sanity, leave the situation completely and seek professional help.